That Drifting Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the TV Letdowns of the Past Year.
As we consider the TV offerings of the past year, a handful of shows emerge not for their excellence, but for their spectacular shortcomings. From awkward sequels to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
Where to begin with this love/hate follow-up? Plagued with dreadful scripts, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the third series began, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then came an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator declared this would be the final season. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was just way too symbolic. Still, viewers undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob?
All’s Fair
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was almost the smallest of this drama's issues. The subject of a very rare no-star review, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The hilariously leaden dialogue? The tedious veneration of affluence and materialism? The seemingly deliberate procession of cliches? Performances so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. However, a new season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Considering the restraining orders, abuse claims and fatherly shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d really have known it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charming but flippant egotist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Of course we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.
MobLand
Shady figures convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.
Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to indulge baffling accents. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a conflict over narcotics territory between various London picaresques which seemed a bit basic.
The Meghan Markle Series
Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into twee homemaking as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue come to life; a meme for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.
The Beckham Documentary
There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to explore them. Rather, the viewing was like consuming a sales brochure. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.
The Game Show
It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you want? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too complicated to detail what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to live up to something way beyond it.
Too Much
How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt icky.
Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping
Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.
Given the smart inclusion of gifted younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely jaunty, somewhat mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Very much so.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies targeting – and killing off – intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This uncritical portrait followed the online personality notorious for sexual exploits as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was far greater examination of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.
